It’s really unfortunate that Metallica’s bass player died in that bus crash…as opposed to the rest of the band. It seems like they have just been de-evolving into primordial sludge ever since. During their heyday I’ll admit I was more interested in punk rock, but I still liked what they were doing along with their somewhat more pathetic, yet equally enjoyable to me, little brother Megadeth. In what appears to be their latest media gaffe, they invited a bunch of journalists to a special listening session of songs from their yet to be released album. After these journalists wrote some reviews on their blogs, they were contacted and told to remove the reviews…no non disclosure contracts were signed, and apparently no one was told not to write about it? So without hearing the album I’m going to write a review about it right here, and see if they contact me to take it down…The new Metallica album sucks as much as the one before it, and if they had any dignity left they’d kill each other. This spoiled bunch of sadly self absorbed has beens have milked the life out of whatever formula they undeniably pioneered and perfected 20 years ago. If you need any proof on what a bunch of useless skinbags these guys have become, view the documentary “Some Kind of Monster” in which they douche it out with each other so much their label has to call in a “band coach” to help them finish their record. It’s clearly one of the most comedic films I’ve seen in years. The ability to play music is a gift…somewhere along the line Lars and James may have forgotten that.

Article- “Metallica to bloggers…“

I recently filmed a demolition derby event here in the great desert of Arizona, so I was pleased to see this series of videos for the heavy rock duo Early Man. Matador records thought up this ridiculous and excellent idea to sponsor a derby car for Early Man (because Early Man are apparently all about destruction). the band is a heavy duo that sounds like a lot of the best old metal from the 70’s, they ain’t winning any originality contest, but they sure don’t SUCK like so much of today’s “metal”. Matador sent out someone from the home office in NYC to Utah, much to the surprise of the people there, to videotape the event and help decorate the car with the most excellent Early Man logo. This is pretty fun stuff, and great to see someone having a good time marketing their bands.

Early Man Demolition Video Part I

Watch the other two and grab a few Early Man Mp3’s from Matador Records who do NOT support “deep linking”…ok then. Here is a: shallow link

Speaking of the mighty wanker himself, check out this damn funny video. Marvel at his majestic chops as he proclaims his new godliness over you. Oh yeah and I have included the infamous Yngwie airplane incident (audio below) where our new God unleashes the fockin’ fury upon a hapless airlline crew of obvious unbelievers…it’s a real recording.

Yngwie I am the new God:

Yngwie: “You have released the fury!”

Fresh off the release of their new wicked badass toy comes this creepy fun video for The Talking horse, from their Ipecac (Mike Patton’s label) release of 2006.

Nothing new really from the Melvins, just the same ass dragging ear busting metal sludge they are best known for. There is something to be said for consistency, and longevity, and the Melvins have really provided us with both of those things. In the words of the man Buzz himself here is a great description of the entity

The Melvins are family entertainment on another level. Some people say The Melvins are the wave of the future. Some people think The Melvins have already influenced a huge wave of music on a global level but most people expect The Melvins to totally fuck up. Most people think they should be called “The Fucks” because they’re fucked.

Amazon: A Melvins Senile Animal

I just stumbled across this really great video series from VBS.TV called Heavy Metal In Bagdhad. The story goes that Vice magazine had published an article with Iraqi metal band Acrassicauda right after the US invasion and subsequent melee. In Fall of 2006 the cofounder and another Vice mag producer decided to go to Iraq and meet the band…This is the story.

Heavy Metal In Baghdad: Part 2
Heavy Metal In Baghdad: Part 3
Heavy Metal In Baghdad: Part 4
Heavy Metal In Baghdad: Part 5

Rounding out todays Comedy of Metal posts is this Propagandist exclusive interview with the extremely elusive Floridian death metal pioneers Rectik Blotus (most excellent logo here). The interview is hilarious and Rectik Blotus is definitely poised to uh BLOW THE FUCK UP real soon as stated by FreshJive interviewer Eric Stricker.

Rectick Blotus: Freshjive Interview

Check out the free MP3 of their pop hit “Bowel Massacre Part 1″. It’s a Two part massacre, but they probably should have called them both part 2…

MP3 BM Pt1: : Download

Man, watching all that HOT SHREDDING by Michael Angelo made me want to pick up the old axe and cut loose with some vicious fret destruction…but oh wait i can’t play guitar (not like that anyway, it’s a genetic thing). Thank the Gods of Shred for creating this AWESOME flash game…watch the intro then go back to “home” link and try “Magic Carpet Tour”. Soon Ye shall be ready to conquer “The Mountain of the Tapping Dwarves”. Be prepared to waste a few hours…it’s addictive.

Mr. Fastfinger Guitar Shred Show

OK he’s the REAL life Nigel (Michael Angelo)…seriously check this video out it’s a side splitting wankathon of unparalleled wankery…complete with perfect posing, hair and jeans:

Here is an in store (probably the sad future of this shredder) performance full of AWESOME shredding and classic rock medley:

See Nigel play the QUAD guitar! | digg story

Pink was released in Japan in 2005, and in 2006 it was unleashed to the US on Southern Lord Records. Boris is a Japanese band that is of course aptly named after a Melvins song. They generally produce slow mettalic durge type stuff, but Pink has some really ripping uptempo stuff. We are posting “Woman of Screen” for your listening pleasure. Head over to Southern Lord to listen to more and order Pink! It rocks.

MP3 Sample: : Hear More

Southern Lord: Boris Pink